What are my real goals...

Well at work it is the time of year for performance evaluations. You know great job doing what you do for the year and now were going to give you a raise! Well I was looking at my list of goals for next year at work and well I was kinda board while taking sales calls so I thought I would really write my goals. You know for the only sport that matters... no not subaruing, coffeeshopping, or ect.eering like we learned about last week from the TNB blog. I'm talking about fucking sending and what its going to take for me to fucking do it, so here you go a half serious half bullshit work eval. Hmm should I send it to my supervisor? Probably not because he most likely wouldn't understand the f'ed up crag language that we speak in anyway (hmm what a good next post-> MN crag speak)... Well here it is booyakasha, and respect the techmology.

Prime Time over and out!!!

Major Rockfall at Willow River!

Last time at Willow I was walking up to warmup on Natural Selection and Wam! I ran straight into a huge boulder just before the base of the climb - what the????? Where did this thing come from? I looked at the route and luckily it didn't fall down. Turns out it just rolled down from the sitting rock at the base of Natural. Did an act of god do this? I fear not. More likely some hooligans having fun trundling - or maybe it was a bear looking for some last minute grubs before turning in for the winter. However it got there it sure is in the way. We have to get some he-man rock movers out there to open the trail up again.

I climbed the new linkup from Tsunami into Natural and have to say it is really a great option. Its a great alternative to all the regular jug pulling. And to clean it is even more fun. Climb up Natural through the traverse below the bread loaf, downclimb 20' to the lip of the Tsunami roof to retrieve your draws on Tsunami, then continue up to the top of Natural leaving a TR for someone else to clean Natural.

Hilti.

Sick Links From The Wang

The American Duo of the Duchess and Prime Time made some sick link ups of local La Grange test pieces.

First off the two made quick work of the new power-endurance route Preemptive Drilling Play. Followed up by a quick send of Jump the New Kids and Touch em at the Boutique where pendulum potential was a serious factor and failing to clip the chains would mean a five and a half to six foot fall. When asked for comments about the commitment grade on the route the Duchess said "I've done some hard things but this makes them all look like a pile of piss".

Afterwards the Duchess quickly made repeats of 3 routes 7b (American grade 5.12b) or harder, while Prime Time ran multiple fitness laps on the same king lines. In an interview Prime Time said that he "owed the day to Patxi and Dani" (his right and left arms respectively) stating that they really pulled him through all the business.

Just as the two were leaving the crag rumors where spreading about the exploits Hilti, Spidey, and the Professor. Check back for more details.

Mississippi Crushing

Well since someone thought Mississippi Burning was too hard... they decided to pull off the jug rest creating a huge ledge where you can sit your fat ass down and have a cup of tea. As soon as word got out about this The Duchess hit up the Wang the next day for a quick sending sesh and executed the new route with the help of Smith and Wesson, and sponsered by 8a.nu.

Now the route's name has been dubbed 'Mr. Sippi'. So get used to it!

The Duchess

From "The Rock Doctor"

Local Crisis

Word came via telegraph to the remotest of Eastern European regions that the "Land of 5a" was in trouble. "ICH CZAS PRZESZŁY CZASOWNIKA N PROJEKTOWANIE" came the code. Ivo a local salt crushing machine employed at the mine was able to roughly translate this into"The locals hardmen in the Land of 5a have been repeatedly shut down cold on their local "sic projects."

This was dire news indeed.

Despite having not climbed in several weeks, I decided to make haste and fly deep into the heart of this land forth-with. The news, it seems, was worse than I had imagined. Local strongmen had been spending months "projecting" testpieces that should have been sent fourth go at worst.

One local had even come so close as to taste the chains -literally- before succombing to the whip and falling in utter pumptitude.

It is a good thing that "The Rock Doctor" came prepared with healthy doses of beta in a convenient spray form.

With a little luck and a shit-load of spray, we might, just might be able to get through this crisis.

-The Rock Doctor